You're High-ness

The first time I saw the trailer I didn't have high hopes, the main character Danny McBride came across as a Tom Green wannabe...Or a potato which was brought to life by a mad scientist, only fed sugary foods and fizzy drinks and then pumped full of some sort of super-adrenaline...same difference either way.

This picture I'd painted in my mind of some mental-hyper potato jumping about on screen was then completely transformed (to an optimus prime extent) when I came across a review on imdb where someone had compared it to one of the best movies ever made within the adventure-comedy genre, The Princess Bride.

So I got out my paintbrushes and painted a new picture of Your Highness - giants, revenge, true love, pirates, swamps, R.O.U.S's? Yes please!!

Fabious (James Franco) is a warrior prince, loved by his country and favourited by his father. When he returns from a quest with his new bride the celebrations are abruptly interrupted when the evil wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux) kidnaps her. Fabious has to convince his lazy slacker brother Thadeous (Danny McBride) to join him on a quest to save his princess-to-be.

I was slightly disappointed. It IS funny in places, I'll give it that. It has enough charm to just be able to get away with having a cheeky humour. If it had lacked said charm there was definitely the danger of it having some mental potato moments.

I would say this film was not without 'stoner humour'. The film was written by the minds behind Pineapple Express (which Franco and McB were also in) and reflects a similar style of comedy. Some of it verged on crude, but most of the banter was very witty and full of memorable quotes. They chucked a few swear words in every now and then which surprisingly didn't get old...there's something funny about a knight swearing. The only part of the movie that I didn't find funny was pervy yoda...awkward!

Apart from that, Dan McB was more toned down than I expected (to around about Jack Black's level of insanity). The actors performed to a high standard and the effects were made on a big budget scale.

I personally can't compare this to Princess Bride, just like I wouldn't compare it to Monty Python and the Holy Grail - they are similar in genre, but the style and humour is more reminiscent of the themed spoof type comedies such as Tropic Thunder, Kick Ass and probably anything that Zack Galifi...something or other has been involved in.

If I had to sum up Your Highness I would say it is perfect at not being a masterpiece (in a good way).

If you like this movie WonderOri picks: Pineapple Express, This is the End, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, Superbad.

Heroes - It's the way of the future

I've been thinking about how the superhero genre has made such a comeback in recent years, maybe even too much of one.

Although some might say Superman (1978) pushed the superhero movie genre onto its feet I think it's safe to say that if that wasn't enough, Tim Burton's Batman (1989) shoved the genre into the air placing it in a completely different direction.

The superhero genre took a while to grow in the 90's (the only notable movie I can think of right now being The Crow following suit with the 'dark and moody' tone of Batman '89).

Batman's rep was then destroyed a little when Joel Schumacher took over the franchise in 1995 and gave us Batman Forever, followed by Batman & Robin two years later. The superhero genre went quiet and no-one spoke of it until the new millennium.

A century of superhero blockbusters and super-rubbish flops has brought us to the present. This year alone we have Green Hornet, Green Lantern, Thor, Captain America, X-Men First Class and Transformers: Dark of the Moon. With the change in technology quite a few of these will probably be exploiting the use of 3D (having things fly towards us, people punching the camera and all that).

Next year we also have The Avengers, Batman: Dark Knight Rises, The Amazing Spider-man, Nick Fury, Superman: Man of Steel, The Wolverine, Venom, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Star Trek 2, Ghostbusters 3 and Mad Max: Fury Road. Yes, I know the latter three aren't exactly superhero movies, but they are worthy of mentioning due to their cult statuses.

Then we even have Justice League: Mortal, The Flash, Deadpool, Ant-Man, Darkchylde, Iron Man 3, Kick-Ass 2: Balls to the Wall, Green Lantern 2, some Fantastic Four threequel, maybe another Batman movie thrown in somewhere, Wonderwoman, Silver Surfer and probably many more lined up in the future.

With expectations running high and sooo much choice, I can only imagine they are going to over-do it with all these superhero movies in such a tiny space of time. Some of them are bound to aim for the skies, only to flop back down to the ground.

Who knows, maybe one day when they've made a film about every possible superhero (or villain!) they might even end up with a movie where they are pitted against each other (DC Vs Marvel anyone?)

Octopuses covered in marmite. Yum.

I would like to talk about the movie Monsters, which I saw at the cinema last year and I hear is being released on DVD and blu-ray next week.

Where I live the posters seemed to give very little away towards the storyline with just the title, a bit of shrubbery and a warning sign. It gave me the impression it would be a similar to the movie Cloverfield, but at that point I didn't know what the film was about.


A journalist is demanded by his boss to escort his daughter out of Mexico. This might sound like a simple task, but just to mix stuff up a bit the part of Mexico they have to get through is actually now quarantined due to an infestation of aliens aka 'Monsters', the result of a NASA space probe mission gone wrong. The US and Mexican armies are fighting to contain the aliens within the 'Infected zone'.

I don't like the title of this movie, it bugs me. How many other titles out there do you know that plopped an 's' onto the end of an already well-known, well-made, phenomenally acted movie? Yes, it is simplistic and ambiguous...but they aren't JUST monsters. They are Freaky Giant Octopuses!...Let's call it that instead of Monsters.

In Freaky Giant Octopuses we only really get to know the two main characters throughout the whole journey. Andrew, the male journalist, seems very shallow initially and like many struggling protagonists he is given his own personal redemption along the way.

Then we have the lady character, Samantha, who seems to instantly fall for Andrew even though she is getting married to her fiancée some time in the near future. Oh Samantha, are you really that fickle or are you supposed to be complex in some way?

Samantha is the catalyst for the narrative and yet she constantly demonstrates she has the least control of it by having the inability to take lead or even think for herself. Why is she even there?! She's left her fiancée at home to go on vacation to a country that's partially invaded by aliens, yet it's never explained for what reason and why it's necessary for her to get home at the most inconvenient of times. The only reason they go through the infected zone is because they miss the DAILY ferry which takes a safe route back to the US. I'm guessing they have to get back for the wedding or something...haha!

For a low budget movie I have to mention that the cinematography was actually immense. It created a beautiful atmosphere that needed to be appreciated in order for the movie not to feel like it was some shallow sci-fi docu-horror.

Let's just say that Freaky Giant Octopuses is very much a marmite movie - you either love it or you hate it. And unfortunately for me, this movie didn't satisfy my taste buds. It's not a movie I think I'd like to lick again.

2007: A Space Portal-sey

Since Portal 2 is being released in two weeks' time a buddy of mine recently urged me to play the original Portal on the PC so I could understand what all the fuss was about.

The game starts off with a female computer system named GLaDOS who equips you with a magic portal-shooting teleportation device. She runs you through a series of test rooms with the promise of cake at the end as encouragement.

I was extremely impressed with the portal gun. The idea of teleporting from one specific place to another was then further enhanced with the aspect of gravity, which allows you to jump from a high place into one portal to create a high velocity so when you come out the other portal you go flying forwards.

It's the type of invention that would be perfect for me to use against bad guys and it's such a realistic way of portraying the first generation of teleportation. Unfortunately, I don't have the extensive funding that Batman has so he'll probably create this before I do.

After a while I could tell something was definitely not right with this GLaDOS computer system as the test rooms and problem solving elements of the game became more complicated and dangerous.

That's when I realised she was actually evil and I had to put a stop to this new enemy.

The game doesn't feel very long, unless you take your time and play it in bits you can easily get sucked in and end up playing the entire game within a couple of hours. However there are extra advanced courses and challenges to try out afterwards and you could always take a break to reward yourself with a slice of Victoria sponge (yeah, I didn't want to say cake there because it rhymes with break, I know you noticed that!) Oh, and with the credits there is song! I've always found that having a little diddy in the credits is an epic way to end a game.

Since I seem to be five or so years behind everyone else having just played this, I have vowed to buy Portal 2 the week it comes out, take advantage of its meme-ious phrases and defeat GLaDOS once and for all...or see if there is an upgrade of HAL on the market and hook them up...they would make a great couple! Aww.

At first it's all fun and games...

Last night, after a long and tiresome heroic evening I decided to relout (alternative to chillax?) to a little movie called Splice, made back in 2009.

Two scientists who produce new creatures decide to splice together some creature genes with human DNA in secrecy. The different genes of species that they squished into their new creation are introduced as if they are superpowers at different stages throughout the mutant's lifecycle. Thus an alien-like supermonster which they name Dren (Nerd backwards) is born.

So, I was watching Splice 2009 happily enjoying it as I played that game (which I call 'The Goiler Game', you can also have a 'Goiler' who is that odd person when you are watching a film in a group who puts it upon themselves to guess the spoilers out loud), so you shout out what will happen next, and I seemed to be winning all the time (which is great, I love winning :D).

Then it suddenly occurred to me, 'Wait a minute WonderOri! People don't like it when they win this game, this is what film reviewers call ''PREDICTABLE!'' '

I don't 100% agree with this idea, it wasn't predictable in an incredibly mega-cliche way and further towards the end I started to enjoy the game less and less as it became more of an awkward 'Oh no, this isn't going to happen next is it..?' This, as you can imagine, complicated my relationship I had built with Splice and by the time I got to the end we were in a love-hate relationship.

I can't even begin to explain some of the events that took place in this movie, plus I don't want to spoil it for you if you haven't seen it! I can only imagine the riot some of the scenes probably caused over at the Imdb forums when this film was released.

*Warning - may contain little spoilers*
After our little fall out Splice and I went our separate ways and we have decided not to see each other again, it's probably for the best.

At least I never slept with a mutant-human....although I can't say the opportunity hasn't ever stared me in the face with its three eyes.

And so it begins...

As someone who probably knows not-so-much about blogging and how to write articles that flow smoothly, like the calmest of rivers...no that sounds rubbish.

Anyway, I have put off going on this little journey for a while, very aware that there will be many foes that I will face such as the grammar goblins and deadly obstacles I must pass like writer's block.

I have already stumbled onto my first dilemma on this venture into the unknown - do I write an introduction or do I jump right into action? Will this define what type of blogger I really am? *Sigh* It's like choosing between good and evil all over again...